Saturday, January 22, 2011

(Very Belated) Happy New Year

I guess I should just plan a blogging break for the turn of the year since it seems that I consistently take one.   I've been writing in snippets here and there, working on various things and finishing nothing, but mostly I just haven't done much here. 

Some of my life since my last post:

My great-aunt passed away near the end of December -- my dad's only aunt.  She was 92 years old and her health had been gradually worsening for a while.  We'll miss her, but she lived a good, long life, and we expect to see her again.  She was buried very near my brother on January 3, next to her husband, who passed on in 2009. 

Now my family is even smaller, and there are two fresh graves on the hill.  Clint's has some grass on it now, but you can tell it's still a fresh wound in the earth.  As in our hearts.

This new year is the first year of my life that Clint hasn't been part of since the year he was born, 20 years ago. There is no way to quantify what that means to me.  It touches every aspect of my life.  Thursday marked 6 months since he was killed.

In more pleasant news, in December we learned that we're expecting another child! :)  We're pleased, but right now I'm sick a lot (as usual in my first trimester).  Blech.  I know, I just went from pleasant to unpleasant again, didn't I?  I'm trying to focus on being grateful for the cause, because I am, and give any cares to God.  Easier said than done at times, but it's a good exercise.  I'm thankful that I can look forward to probably feeling better sometime in February, and really the sickness hasn't been as bad as it sometimes has been (at least so far), so I am glad about that too.  Yet I admit that my feelings still alternate between wishing I could just skip the next 3 weeks or so somehow, and thinking wait, I can't do that, I've got to at least get SOMETHING done during that time -- the whole first trimester will be over already in 3 weeks?!

Well, I just wanted to at least give a bit of update for now.  Not sure when I'll be able to finish any of those other bits and snatches of thoughts.  Hope you have a lovely day.  Lots of snow on the ground here with more in the forecast.  The children love it. :)


  1. I'm still so sorry for your loss, Amber. I can't imagine losing my little brother and the pain and hole that would leave.

    On the other hand, I am very happy with you about your new son or daughter. Sorry you have to endure such morning sickness, but appreciate your perspective that this, too, shall pass!

  2. Thanks, Shonya. There's only one way to imagine it, and I hope you never have to.

    Thank you for rejoicing with us about the new baby also. There are a lot of things worse than morning sickness, and mine could be way worse than it is right now, and the blessing of another child... I have a lot to be thankful for! But to keep that mindset all the time -- that is something I still work on.

  3. Every time I think about what happened to Clint I get that just-got-punched-in-the-stomach feeling all over again. We do continue to pray for all of you regularly. Hugs.

    I had actually sort of forgotten that you were pregnant (funny how you can do that with other people's pregnancies ;)) until I was happily reminded with this post!

    Oh, and per a later post, I will always vote on more pictures in your posts, even though I love reading your writing! Was trying to remember when Liberty was born the other day...Spring, Fall? Completely drawing a blank, but she is coming up on 2 years, yes? May, maybe?

  4. Thank you for the prayers and hugs, Kelly.

    Ha, it would be kind of nice from one perspective if early in pregnancy I could forget about it!

    Yeah... we've been having computer troubles since the end of the year and are now using John's laptop as our only computer, so I haven't uploaded any pics for a while. I may just go ahead and put some on here though if he doesn't mind, so I can actually do something with them and get them off the camera!!

    Liberty was born on my birthday in May -- so I'm always sure to remember it! :) And yes, it's hard to believe that she'll be 2 this year, Lord willing.